Coronovirus Blues

I've been working from home since March 26. My food the same as ever except for occasional pop-tart treat or 1 serving of pasta for dinner. No point in lying, I have also eaten some bbq chips in the past 3 weeks being at home. I know it's stress eating. But I was surprised my weight was 370 when I weighed on April 7. I fluctuate between 363 and 370 all the time, depending on my swelling. It's really aggravating and honestly pisses me off when I consider how little I eat.

My legs have swelled up (lymphedema) and I have a lot of bloating going on right now. I had terrible stomach pains Sunday night and thought I was to have to go to the ER. Every time I go with these pains (about 3 times over the past 2 years) they tell me it's my vagus nerve and my gastroparesis is causing the issues. I don't really understand that except to say it feels like a knife straight thru from my stomach to my spine.I can't stand up and laying down is the only thing that makes it bearable until it subsides. I'm almost grateful for it this time though because it has caused me to clean up the food issues as I'm afraid to eat much. I have no idea what sets it off.

Easter Sunday, April 12:

1130am: 2 LC tortillas with 1/4 c. EB, 1 Morninstar Farms "soysage" patty, 1/4 c. shredded cheese, taco sauace + 1 c. Earl grey tea

3:30pm: 2 slices Quorn turky "roast" + 2 slices Tofurkey "ham" + 1 c. green beans w/garlic + 2 "non-yolk" deviled eggs.

7pm: 1 strawberry poptart

________________________

Weight: 380!! Holy cow, my weight has gone up 10 lbs.in 3 days. Yeah I know it's water, but DAMN.


Monday April 13:

8am: 1 c. earl grey

1130am: 1 c.elderberry/hibiscus tea

145pm: 1 c. cabbage w/ /1/2 tbsp. butter, 2 slices of Quorn turky roast + 2 "non-yolk" deviled eggs

615pm: 6 spears asparagus +1 small sliced zucchini both cooked in 1 tbsp.olive oil and 1/8 cheddar cheese + 1/4 alfredo sauce + 1 slice diced quorn turkey roast

_________________________

Weight: still 380. Actually 380.4. Yep it went up .4 since yesterday. Is it no wonder why I feel disgusted and hopeless about this?

What are non-yolk deviled eggs? Since I"m allergic to egg yolk, I haven't been able to eat deviled eggs in about 40 years. No love loss though. I never really liked the taste of them. My first Thanksgiving married to Jeff, his parents came down for the holiday and when I got home from work that Wednesday before Thanksgiving, his mom had been cooking all day. She had me try these "deviled eggs" she made just for me. Well I was convinced she really was trying to do me in, but Jeff kept telling me they had no egg yolk. They were quite aware of my allergy. It LOOKED like a deviled egg. I slowly took a bite and was surprised it tasted good (whatever it was.) I can't stand the smell of egg yolks--it smells worse than dog poop to me. She had taken leftover mashed potatoes (which really don't have much of a "taste" when you think about it and added mustard and pickle relish.) Now I can't stand cold potatoes, but it was a great base for the mustard and relish. Needless to say, those are a specialty item that I had her make for me on the holidays (Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas). Now that she's gone, I have continued the tradition and Jeff eats them with me. (With his cholesterol, he really doesn't need egg yolks!)

Monday #2

630am: Juice (2 carrots + 1 romaine + 1 cucumber + 1 lemon) + 1 c. earl grey

830am: 1 c. vanilla chai tea

1030am: 1 c. red grapes + 1/4 c. almonds

12pm: 1 egg white (hard boiled egg) + 1 oz.  pepper jack cheese + 6 medley cherry tomatoes + 1/2 fennel roasted with parmesan + 1 c. stir-fry + 1/2 c. red cabbage + onion + garlic + 1/2 tbsp. olive oil + 1 Quorn spicy chick'n patty

230pm: 1 red pear

6pm: 2 salmon cakes (I made: salmon, red/green peppers/onion/almond flour/EB) + 1 c. green beans + 1 tbsp. olive oil + Atkins SF "brownie"



**Morning weigh-in: 363

Blah, it's Monday again

630am: Juice (2 carrots + 1 romaine + 1 cucumber + 1 lemon) + 1 c. earl grey

1030am: 1 c. red grapes + 1/4 c. almonds + 1 c. earl grey

130pm: 1 egg white (hard boiled egg) + 1 oz.  pepper jack cheese + 6 medley cherry tomatoes + 1/2 fennel roasted with parmesan + 1 c. stir-fry + 1/2 c. red cabbage + onion + garlic + 1/2 tbsp. olive oil

230pm: 1 apple

530pm: 1 Impossible whopper


**Morning weigh-in: 364.6

Sunday

I find it interesting that I only eat fish when I'm low-carbing. My husband is the pescatarian, so I cook it for him about once or twice a week. I don't like it or hate it, it's just not usually something I think to eat (unless I'm doing the low-carb food plan.)


930am: 2 low-carb tortillas + 1/4 c. EB + 1 MSF breakfast patty + 1 slice cheddar + 1 c. earl grey

2pm: 4 oz. cod + 1 tbsp. olive oil + 2 c. green beans w/garlic/onions + 1 c. grapes

330pm: 1 Atkins chocolate nut roll

6pm: 1 c. taco soup + 1 tbsp. Tofutti sour cream

**Morning weigh-in: 364.6

Saturday

Yay! Finally Saturday! and it's not raining--bonus! We decided to run to Roanoke and of course, eat Chinese! I did quite well at the buffet and feeling proud.

930am: 2 low-carb tortillas + 1/4 c. EB + 1 MSF breakfast patty + 1 slice cheddar + 1 c. earl grey

4pm: 1 c. tofu + 3 c. garlic green beans + 1 c. mushrooms

6pm: blueberry cake donut (yep, I ate it and don't feel bad) + 1 c. hot tea

730pm: 1 c. grapes


**Morning weigh-in: 365.2

Valentine's Day 2020

Still have a headache today. Back to work... Guess now I know why I felt bad yesterday. It looks like I'm getting my period again. It's been about 3 months since the last one, so great....happy valentine's day to me.

630am: 1/2 c. Trop50 OJ + 2 low-carb tortillas + 1 MSF breakfast patty + 1/4 c. egg beaters + 1 tbsp. taco sauce

9am: 1 c. earl grey tea

1230pm: 1.5 c. stir-fry veggies (broccoli, snow peas, bok choy, kale) + 1/2 c. red cabbage + onion + 4 cloves garlic + 1/2 tbsp. olive oil + 1/3 c. blackberries + 1/2 c.  pineapple + 1 1/2 oz. cheese

5pm:  Impossible burger (yep, that's actually what I wanted for Valentine's day!) 

630pm: 1 Atkins "brownie"
I've been eating FF + no added oil for so long that the 1/2 tbsp. of oil tastes weird and well, "oily" to me. I guess I'll get used to it again.

**Exciting news, weigh-in this morning: 368.6

Tweaking my food plan

After my visit with Jill yesterday, I'm feeling much better about my food plan. I almost feel "hopeful" again.  We've tweaked it down to less starchy carbs/more vegetables & fruits. I'm not adding the calories up or looking at macros. That's the plan--just follow the damn chart!

1030am: 1/2 c. Trop50 OJ + 2 low-carb tortillas + 1 MSF breakfast patty + 1/4 c. egg beaters + 1 oz. cheddar cheese

140pm: 1 Quorn spicy chick'n patty + 1 apple + 1 c. cherry tomatoes + 1 oz. cheese

325pm: 1 c. FF SF hot chocolate + 1 Primal vegan jerky

630pm: 1 c. green beans/onion/garlic cooked in 1/2 tbsp. olive oil + 4 oz. white cod 

I wasn't hungry today. Home sick and not feeling like eating a lot.

I'm tired of it all

I'm tired of counting calories. I'm tired of manipulating my macros. I'm tired of worrying about what can I eat that's ok for my food plan. I know other people don't act this way. Surely other people don't obsess over every little detail of food. Is it low-fat enough? Is it low-calorie enough? When is enough, enough?

I'm thinking of doing a modified low-carb diet. Nothing drastic as keto, but less than 100 carbs a day. Just for one week to see how things go. I can't keep gaining weight. I was the same today at 373. I'm terrified of waking up a year from now and being back at 524.  I don't know why I can't eat so many healthy carbs that other folks can. I see people eating potatoes and rice and bread and I'm so jealous. I've been trying to eat "healthy" and eat WFPB more. I just can't handle eating all these starches. I know that's what's making me gain weight. Is there something wrong with me? I've been watching Dr. Fung talk about insulin resistance and I believe I have it bad!

I've got to get rid of some of this weight. I don't have a choice. I'm not going to live much longer if I don't lose weight. How many old people do you see at my weight? I don't know if I've ever seen any. My first goal is under 350 lbs., then 300. I haven't seen 300 lbs. in almost 15 years. You know I keep thinking what if I cause myself another stroke, but how long do I really think I'm going to live at this weight?

630am: 2 mini low-carb tortillas + 1 MSF breakfast patty +  1/4 c. egg beaters + 1/2 tbsp. coconut oil + 1 tbsp. taco sauce + 1/2 c. Trop50 OJ (w/elderberry juice) + 1 c. earl grey

 * 260 calorie breakfast and I feel great! I miss a little breakfast in the morning when I eat light for dinner the night before. I've been trying to do the longer fasts and I'm tired of feeling hungry all the time. I'm surprised the egg beaters didn't make me sick this morning.

915am: 1 c. green tea

11am: 1 protein drink + 1 oz. pistachios

1:45pm: 1/2 c. raspberries + 1 1/2 oz. cheese + 2 c. stir-fry veggies + 1 c. baby kale + 4 cloves garlic + 1/2 c. red cabbage + 1 tbsp. sesame seeds

3pm: 1 atkins coconut bar

6pm:   Quorn chick'n patty + 2 c. broccoli w/ cheese

__________________

total calories: 1811 (hmm...I ate more calories today, on the higher end, but feel good)
Morning weigh-in: 373
**12 hour fast
**30 min. pedaling

I am the definition of insanity

Insanity has been described as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That's were I'm at right now. I'm watching what I eat, focusing on no added fats, more veggies and what I get? the water game. Weight up today to 373.

I. GIVE. UP.

I don't know what to do. I keep eating what I think is "healthy" and "low-fat" and "low-calorie" and the scales aren't budging except to tell me how much salt was in my food the previous day. I'm even fasting around 16 hours a day and nothing changes! My God, what is wrong with me????

I have a Dr. appt Friday to re-test my thyroid. My dr. reduced my Synthroid in December since my labs were too high. On an interesting note, she called in the generic which I've been on now. I've been on actual Synthroid for years. I can't remember why now, but there was a problem with the generic and that's why I had to do the actual Synthroid. I'm anxious to have my labs done. On a good note, I finally finished my amoxicillin today.

I miss the weight loss from eating keto. I don't miss the mini-strokes. I just can't believe that a diet of 70% fat (no matter what that fat is) can be healthy. And I do believe it contributed to my TIAs. But God I miss the weight loss. It was so easy and I wasn't hungry all the time. I know there is a vegan keto, but again, how can a diet of 70% fat be healthy? really? I did it as a vegetarian out of desperation and lost a lot of weight. I don't want to go back down that road, but what choice to I have? Surgery or keto again? I don't think my body likes all these carbs. I've been getting great blood sugars and great blood pressure readings, but damn--no weight loss!

630am: 1 c. earl grey

9am: 1 c. earl grey

1130am: 1/4 c almonds + 1/2 c. pineapple [230 cal: 20 g. carb, 16 g. fat, 7 g. protein]

1pm: 3 oz. potatoes + 1/2 c. rainbow carrots + 1/2 c. raspberries +  2 c. stir-fry veggies + 1/2 c. purple cabbage + 1/4 onion + 4 cloves garlic + 2 cups baby kale (all stir-fried in broth, no oil!) + 1 tbsp. sesame seeds + 1 quorn chick'n patty [361 calories:  68 g. carb,  4 g. fat, 17g. protein]

630pm: taco salad (2 cups kale salad + 1/2 c. refried beans + 1/4 c. whole grain brown Spanish rice + 1/2 c. roasted corn + 1/2 c. Boca crumbles + 1 tbsp. diced jalapeños + 6 tbsp. salsa + 2 mini white corn tortillas "toasted" for "chips") [419 calories: 83g. carbs,  6 g. fat,  24 g. protein]

_________

total calories: 1010
**17 hours fasting

Disgusted

372.2 Why did I even think it wouldn't go up again today. I'm disgusted. My back is killing me today from bending over & lifting too much yesterday in my zest for cleaning house! I really don't want to have to go back to the chiropractor again.

1030am: 1 c. diced potatoes w/onion/peppers ("fried" in broth) + 1 MSF breakfast patty + 1 c. earl grey + 1/2 c. trop50 OJ (w/elderberry juice)

1215: 1 banana

105pm: refried bean tortilla (1/2 c. refried beans + mushroom/onion/green pepper/salsa) on low-carb tortilla w/ 1 serving (1/2 c.) brown rice Spanish rice (more salsa!)

325pm: 1 c. SF hot chocolate + 2 fig newtons

625pm: 2 c. low carb taco soup w/ 1 tbsp. Tofutti sour cream

I'm not eating "low carb" but these are foods we like.

_____________

calories: 1406
16 hour, 30 min. fasting

Tired of this

Weighed in at 369.6. I'm betting it will go up tomorrow AGAIN. I'm so tired of this game. It's a cold wet yucky Saturday, so I plan on staying in and cleaning house today.

1030am: 1 slice toast + 1 MSF breakfast patty + 1 banana + 1 c. earl grey tea

1230pm: 2 c. Instant Pot Potato soup + 1 slice toast

6pm: 1 c. angel hair pasta + 1/2 c. plant-based alfredo sauce + 1 Lightlife Bratwurst sausage + mushrooms/onions/garlic

___________________

calories: 1584
15 hour, 30 min. fasting

Feeling of empowerment by fasting

I need to write down exactly how I feel today. Day 3 of being back on the fasting game, and I feel so good. The first day I thought I'd die. Yesterday was a struggle at times. But today, I'm feeling really good. I need to remind myself that when I fall off the fasting wagon and struggle to get back with it. I was actually doing pretty good until I got sick 3 weeks ago and then it all went to hell. My weight is the same today, 371.2. That doesn't make me happy, but I hope it's at a "cap" and will start to go back down again now. I'm sooooo tired of the water weight game with no real weight loss.

I think I've found a winner for lunch. I'm really enjoying the stir-fry with all the veggies and garlic. I suddenly love garlic! I'd eat more than 4 cloves at a time, but I don't want to kill off my co-workers. Well, not yet.  I'm still working on the portions for lunch. My brain says it's not many calories (about 330 calories and that's counting the banana and raspberries!) and I can eat more, but my stomach says otherwise. I still can't decide if I'm eating too little or too much. How can it be this complicated?

630am: 1 c. earl grey

830am: 1 c. earl grey

12pm: 3 oz. boiled purple potatoes + 2 c. stir-fry veggies + 1/2 c. purple cabbage + 4 cloves garlic + 2 cups baby kale (all stir-fried in broth, no oil!) + 1 tbsp. sesame seeds + 1/2 c. raspberries  + 1 bananas + 1/4 c. almonds 

5pm:  beyond burger (no bun!) & onion + 3 oz. potato wedges baked with spices
__________________________

total calories: 1263
** 18 hour fast
**30 min. pedaling
**morning weigh-in: 371.2

Keep on Fasting!

Weigh-in this morning: 371.2 …. and so continues the water game. I woke up last night to go to the bathroom and thought I would never go back to sleep. I realized I was hungry. I seriously laid there for a good 30 minutes debating on whether or not I was going to get up and eat. A sandwich! Yes, I was thinking about a fat sandwich. (I was really hungry!) But I kept thinking it would ruin my fast. LOL. I can't believe that's what kept me from eating. Finally after another hour, I went to sleep. I'm aiming for 18 hours today.

630am: 1 c. earl grey

830am: 1 c. vanilla chai tea

12pm: 1 c. green tea

1245pm: 3 oz. boiled purple potatoes + 2 c. stir-fry veggies + 1/2 c. purple cabbage + 1/4 onion + 4 cloves garlic + 2 cups baby spinach (all stir-fried in broth, no oil!) + 1 tbsp. sesame seeds + 1/2 c. raspberries  + 1 bananas + 1/4 c. almonds + 1 quorn spicy chickn patty

Note to self: still too much food! I thought cutting down on the potatoes would help today. I need to eat part of it and wait I think. I feel okay after eating, but within an hour, my stomach is hurting (too full.) 

6pm:   2 Gardein vegan turk'y cutlets + 3/4 c. mashed cauliflower + 1 slice Italian bread w/ 1 tsp. "butter" (earth balance) + 1/2 c. OJ (w/elderberry syrup)

____________

total calories: 1239 
**18 hour fasting
**morning weigh-in: 371.2
**30 min. pedaling

God help me. I don't know what to do!

My morning ritual has now become to make a bet how much my weight has gone up since the day before. Today was no different, no surprise. 372, up a lb. from yesterday. That's now 13.4 lbs. in the last 10 days. (16 lbs. in 15 days!)  Honest to God, I don't know what to do.

My legs were so swollen last night, I thought my skin would burst. I should have taken a picture! Needless to say, I was up 4 times to go to the bathroom last night. Gee, I don't know why I feel so crappy today. I don't know much about lymphedema, but it sucks.

I drink about 8 glasses of water (or tea) every day. I don't add salt to my diet. Some days, my feet are not so bad, then days like yesterday, my whole leg up to my knee is swollen and the skin pulled tight. I couldn't even pedal last night because of the swelling. My feet were killing me. I'm tired of living in pain.

I'm going for 17 hours fasting today. That will put me eating at 12noon, I'd really like to hold off to 1pm. I'm discouraged. I guess that's obvious. I know the water weight is up and down, but there is no steady down showing I'm losing any weight. I've tried to be honest with myself I think. I don't feel like I'm eating too much, but when I see the pictures of my food I wonder, in spite of the low calories. Could I not be eating enough? I've been watching Dr. Jason Fung on YouTube and he talks a lot about low calorie restricted diets and how they actually lower our metabolism. Should I be eating more? Sometimes I think I need someone to tell me what to eat and when to eat it.

I get so angry when I try to go through my Facebook support groups when people talk about how much weight they're losing. "All I did was switch over to a plant-based diet, and the weight began dropping off." UGH. I can still hear my grandmother from years ago saying, "I don't know why you're so fat when you don't eat much." Neither do  I.

630am: 1 c. earl grey

9am: 1 c. earl grey

1pm: 1 light multigrain English muffin + 3 fieldroast vegan "soysages" +  6 oz. boiled purple potatoes + 2 c. stir-fry veggies + 1/2 c. purple cabbage + 1/4 onion + 4 cloves garlic + 2 cups baby spinach (all stir-fried in broth, no oil!) + 1 tbsp. sesame seeds + 1/3 c. raspberries  + 2 bananas (my bananas were speckled and going bad, so I ate 2 for lunch)

Note to self: waaaayyyy too much food at one time. I think my stomach is going to burst. I need a nap! LOL

630pm: "beyond burger" on bun w/ 1 tbsp. hellman's vegan mayo and onion + 1/2 c. black grapes

___________________

total calories: 1262
morning weigh-in: 372
**18 hour fasting
**30  min pedaling

Eat the rainbow, not sandwiches!

I know I've been eating a lot of sandwiches lately. Not enough to gain 10 lbs., but don't get me started. I can tell when I don't feel good I want to eat sandwiches and burgers at home. I looked over my food for the past two weeks and I've eaten around 800-1500 calories a day, depending on how I felt. I just realized I've been sick for almost 3 weeks! Anyhow, so how does that equal a 8.8 lb. weight gain? WTH? Yesterday was 371.8, today is 369.4. That's almost 2 1/2 lbs. in just one day. We all know I didn't lose that much, so what is this water weight game I keep playing? I'm pissed off because no matter what I eat, I don't lose any weight. I go back and forth with the same 10 lbs., month after month.  I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I feel like crying. I feel like a FAT failure. I go see Jill next week and I'm dreading it. Not her, just admitting that something is not working. I feel like a big fat failure, an idiot who can't lose weight. It's like, it's obvious to everyone else what my issue is, why can't I see it? Am I eating too much??? Is that really it?


630am: 1 light multigrain English muffin + 1/3 tbsp. earth balance + 1/2 c. raspberries + 1 c. earl grey + 1/2 c. Trop50 OJ (w/tbsp. elderberry syrup)

11am: 1 banana + 1 c. earl grey

1pm: 6 oz. boiled purple potatoes + 2 c. stir-fry veggies + 1/2 c. purple cabbage + 1/4 onion + 4 cloves garlic + 2 cups baby spinach (all stir-fried in broth, no oil!) + 1 tbsp. sesame seeds (+ leftover raspberries from breakfast) + 1/4 c. almonds

6pm: 6 oz. baked potato w/ swiss chard (hard to measure but about 1 c. cooked) + 1/2 c. salsa + 1 quorn chickn patty

____________________

total calories: 1279
morning weigh-in: 369.4
* 30 minutes pedaling

Sunday....I might live!

I have felt like total crap for two weeks now. My food plan has sucked. Yet as I look back over what I've eaten, I'm only eating like 1200 calories a day. BUT YET my weight went up almost 10 lbs! I really don't understand this. I just want to cry. If I was living on fast food and chips, I could get it, but really, what is going on here? I've been drinking tons of water for the past two weeks because of I feel so dry. It's not 10 lbs of water!! I got on the scales this morning and couldn't believe it! 371.8! Two weeks ago I was at 363. I just want to scream!

On a good note, today was the first day I've felt better in almost two weeks. Finally the antibiotic is working.

1130: 1 light multigrain English muffin + 3 fieldroast "soysage" links + 1/2 c. Trop50 OJ (W/tbsp. elderberry juice) + cup of earl grey

2pm: small thin individual pizza crust w/ red & green peppers, onions, 1/4 c. plant-based alfredo

630pm: beyond burger on bun w/1 slice onion + 3 oz. potato wedges baked in oven w/spices

____________

total calories: 1447
morning weigh-in: 371.6

Blah Saturday

No food pictures for the past week. I have felt like crap and feel like I've eaten like crap. I know this isn't crap compared to 99% of the population, but compared to what I usually eat, it is! When I say I eat crap, it's sandwiches and very little veggies!

1030am: 1 c. Trop50 OJ (w/tbsp. elderberry syrup) + 1 c. earl grey + 1 light multigrain English muffin

1pm: 1 banana

330pm: 1 baked potato w/1 c. broccoli + 1/4 c. salsa

730pm: 2 slices SF 100% whole wheat bread + 4 slices tofurkey + 1 tbsp. vegan mayo

__________

total calories: 1280
morning weigh-in: 371.8

Hello Friday

I had to drag myself into work today. Unfortunately I had a few new hires coming in to do their HR paperwork today. I felt like I was apologizing all day and explaining I have a sinus infection, even though I sound like I'm dying from coronavirus. :) Didn't feel like cooking dinner so we ate BK for a quick dinner.

630am: 1 light multigrain English muffin + 1/3 tbsp. earth balance + 1 MSF breakfast patty + 1 c. earl grey

1pm: Stir-fry: 2 c. veggies + 4 cloves garlic + braggs seasoning + 1 tbsp. sesame seeds

3pm: 2 slices SF 100% whole wheat bread + 4 slices tofurkey deli slices + 1/2 c. raspberries

6pm: BK impossible whopper

____________________

total calories: 1431
morning weigh-in: 368.8

Monday, Monday

And it's back to work today. It's not that I hate my job, but I do not "like" working with some of the people here. I have an HR position, you know, getting people in here to fill out their employment paperwork, tax forms, bring me their IDs for employment verifications, make sure they get "entered" and paid, all that jazz. Today I have a headache. A supervisor gave me the wrong ID# for an employee. So now I have to "fix" this little mistake with payroll and the main HR office on campus. Did the supervisor apologize for their error? Of course not. She acts likes it's my fault. Whatever. I don't give a crap what these people think of me. In fact, as little contact as I have with them, the happier I am.

Did I mention I'm not feeling well today? I don't know what's wrong. I've been "sick" for almost a week now. I just feel nauseous all the time. As soon as I eat, it gets worse. I wake up in the morning with a terrible sore throat.  I guess I have a lot of sinus drainage going on which is probably why I feel sick.

630am: 1 pumpkin English muffin + 2 tbsp. black currant Just Spread + 1/2 c. raspberries + 1 c. earl grey tea

1030am: 1 c. earl grey tea

1230pm: 1 c. stir-fry mixed veggies (broccoli, purple cabbage, snow peas, brussels sprouts, carrots) w/ 1 c. baby spinach (cooked in Braggs liquid aminos) + 3 oz. purple potatoes + 5 grape tomatoes + 1/2 Tofurkey vegan Italian sausage + sesame seeds (Note the cute bento box!) I keep my sesame seeds in the cute little pink-topped container. Everything tastes better with toasted sesame seeds!

I have my eye appt this afternoon in about another hour. I'm trying really hard not to think about it, but well, you know how that goes. I've been doing drops for my glaucoma the past 2 months and today is the day we find out if it's working. If not, surgery. I resisted that 2 months ago--he wanted to do surgery right off! He tried to discourage me that only 20% of people see real results with the drops, but I'm trusting someone bigger and greater to take care of this. I'm doing my part--I haven't missed a night of drops, no not once! And I'm eating a lot of the rainbows. Purples and reds are really good for your eyes. We'll see how it goes.

6pm: 1 black bean crunch wrap fresco style!

_______

total calories: 1247
morning weigh-in: 363.4
* 35 min pedaling

So my appt. wasn't bad, wasn't great either. Good news--the pressure in my left eye has come down 10 pts, but it needs to drop 10 more. (yes, I still show damage in my left eye.) I could tell he was really surprised the drops worked. Bad news-- the right eye is "dangerously high" and I have to start drops in them next. Keep eating the rainbow and doing the drops! Repeat tests in 6 weeks.

Sunday Blahs

Here it is Sunday and I was up early to get ready for church. I thought I'd try something different for breakfast. I don't eat egg whites anymore, but keep egg beaters in the house because Jeff still eats them. (I can't eat egg yolks because of an allergy.) So I fixed French toast for a change. I might have used 1/8 EB on my bread. I barely have any egg on them at all. SICK! UGH, I was so sick. I couldn't believe it. I had to go back to bed and I slept 3 hours! I felt so bad and learned my lesson. No more egg whites for me!

830am: 2 thin slices Italian bread + 1/8 c. egg whites + 2 tbsp. Just spread (black currant) + 1/2 c. strawberries + 1 Morningstar breakfast patty + 1 c. earl grey

130pm: 3 oz. grilled salmon + 1/2 bowl (=1/2 cup) yakisoba noodles + 6 oz. red swiss chard

330pm: 1 c. earl grey + 1 apple

6pm: 2 c. taco soup + 1 tbsp. Tofutti sour cream + 1 slice French bread w/1/2 tbsp. marg.

_____________

total calories: 1288
morning weigh-in: 358.6
**30 min. pedaling