Frickin' scales

B: 1/4 c. egg beaters + 1 morningstar patty + 2 street tacos + taco sauce

L: 1 c brussel sprouts + 1 c. carrots + 1 quorn chick'n w/ bbq sauce

D: beyond burger w/ 2 c. mustard greens

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Morning weigh in:  377.2

Hump day

B: 1/2 c. egg beater + 1/2 c. cottage cheese

L: Impossible whopper

D: 1/2 Udi's pizza w/ 1 c. berries

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Morning weigh in: 375.8

Tuesday

B: 1/2 c. egg beaters + 1/2 c. cottage cheese + 1/2 c/ strawberries + 1/8 c. shredded cheese

L: 2 tbsp hummus + 2 c. zucchini + 8 olives + 1 tbsp olive oil + 2 figs/ 2 apricots

D: beyond burger + 1 c.broccolini w/1/8 c. cheese

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Morning weigh in: 373.8

Monday...again!

B: 1/2 c. egg beaters + 1/2 c. cottage cheese

L: Impossible whopper

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Morning weigh in: 371.8

Blahhhh

L: 1 whole wheat pita + 2 tbsp hummus + 1/2 c. cucumber

D: 2 c. stir fry veggies w/ 1 quorn chick'n (plain)

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Morning weigh in: 371.8

Didn't eat alot today as I've been feeling sick today.

ahhh....the weekend

B: 1/2 c. egg beaters + 1/2 c. cottage cheese

L: 2 tbsp. hummus+ 8 olives + 1 c. cucumber + 2 oz cheese + 2 figs/2 apricots

D: 4 oz. baked cod + 3 mini sweet peppers w/2 tbsp cream cheese + 1 c spinach

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Morning weigh in: 371.8

TGIF

B: 1/2 c. vanilla yogurt + 3 figs + 3 dried apricots + 1/2 c. strawberries

L: 2 c. salad + 10 olives + 1 tbsp. sliced almonds + 1/8 c. shredded cheese + 1 spicy chick'n patty + 2 tbsp. ranch

D: Impossible whopper

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Morning weigh in: 371

I ate a biscuit yesterday! It was a nice change. See a change in my weight? It doesn't matter what I eat, number goes up/number goes down, but it never really changes. Why bother.

Number game continues

B: 1 biscuit + 1 morningstar farm breakfast patty + 2 c tea

L:  1 taco bell black bean burrito fresco style

D: 1 spicy chick'n patty + 1 c. green beans + 1/2 tbsp. butter

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Morning weigh in: 371.2

Why should I care what I eat? What's the purpose of eating so damn healthy and low calorie if I'm not losing weight and I will continue the numbers game????

Hump day, no humor

L: 1 carbmaster yogurt + 2 c. zucchini w/ 1/8 c. shredded cheese + 1 tbsp. olive oil

D: 4 oz salmon + 2 c. rainbow chard + 2 SF popsicles

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Morning weigh in: 370

It feels like number game. I can't break 370. In a day or two, I will gain 4 lbs over night and here we will be once again, trying to get back to 370.This is my life. Over and over.

Not sleeping well

L: 2 slices Udi's cheese pizza + salad (1c.romaine + red pepper + 1/8c. shredded cheese + 1 tbsp ranch)

D: taco salad (2 cups romaine + boca crumbles + 1/8 c. shredded cheese + tofutti sour cream + salsa)

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Morning weigh in:  371

I'm not sleeping well again. I wake up several times a night and it's hard for me to go back to sleep. I still can't get under 370. What is my problem? How can anyone stay this fat on what I'm eating? Maybe I should just quit eating and see what happens. My God, surely I can't keep gaining weight, can I????

My boss asked if I was interested in an alternate work schedule when we get back to "normal". Some folks want to work four 10-hour days. I remember a time I would have jumped at that. Now I can barely make it through 8 hours. I did request the telework option twice a week. I don't know how I'm going to get back to a normal work schedule the way I feel. I told him I wasn't doing as well as I thought and I should have taken a few days off instead of going straight back to work. He agreed and said he was surprised I did that. Well, I thought I could. I'm just not bouncing back as quickly as I have before. There's something different here. I remember the doom and gloom I felt last year. This seems worse. But I can tell I'm better than I was two weeks ago. I've found a TIA support group online and it's nice to know what I'm feeling is actually "normal". I guess people who don't go through this find it hard to understand. I know it gets better, it just takes time. I'm not feeling very patient!

I had pizza tonight. I can't remember the last time I ate pizza. Udi's is very small and my husband and I split one. It actually taste decent for GF and he has no idea it's GF. (That's really saying something for a GF product,ha!) It was just enough to have a nice "taste" of pizza for a change. I keep trying to "change" how I eat, but I don't know how to get any healthier. I don't know anyone who would last on the "diet"/ the food that I eat on a regular basis.Pizza I guess makes me feel like I'm normal and not starving myself.

I hate Mondays

B: 1 morningstar breakfast patty + 1/2 c.pineapple juice + 1 c.elderberry tea

L: Impossible whopper

SN: 1 vegan jerky

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You can tell when I eat something from burger king or taco bell, it's my once weekly trip out for the week. That's become our "treat". And I'm just tired of cooking. And I'm tired of eating. I wish we didn't have to eat. I'm bored with it all. It looks like I didn't eat much today but the impossible whopper fills me up and I don't want to eat much the rest of the day. It's more than I'm used to eating at one time anymore.

I've been back to eating GF since my hospital stay which is what I'm supposed to do all time(not for celiac but a gluten intolerance--I think its the damn glyphosate they spray on everything) but I ate a regular burger(bun) today. Sometimes you don't really have a choice. Eating out doesn't always cater to my fricking diet. And sometimes I don't care. I paid for it tonight with all the salt from it. Leg started swelling soon after lunch. That's the price I pay for convenience.